For the scholar on a budget: PHG

For finding fragile fossils, fashionable functional 'ffordable focals frequently foster fantastic fortune! False feeble foes fail fast. Finally, fastidious finesse! Flamboyant flamingos feel felicity! Fatuous fools fall flat! Fortify fondness!!! Frolic freely!!! Furnish fun!!! FLY!!!!! FLIRT!!!!! FORNICATE!!! F*ck. Finished.

NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.

1. NO SLIP: special grip coating helps eliminate slippage when sweating.

2. NO BOUNCE: its distinguished double nose-bridge feature is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running or crushing any workout.

3. ALL POLARIZED: Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection blocks harmful UVA and UVB rays.

4. NO DISSERTATION: No one has ever given a dissertation to a doctorate panel wearing PHGs. Yet.